We land in Kuwait. Camp LSA, the final stop in the Middle East for most Soldiers, Sailors, and Marines when redeploying out of theater in Southwest Asia. The Air Force, well they stop in Qatar. Yes, their final stop is my leave destination...fuckers. Sometimes the military will call a location a camp just to be cute when in fact is a well built up area. This my friends, is a camp. It is desert. Kuwaiti desert. The real deal where all you see if fine sand and brownness. The heat here is scathing. 128 degrees when we stepped off the plane. It is full of old airplanes hangers that have all been bombed to shit (I assume when Sadam marched in here prior to Desert Storm). We eat, sleep, workout and hangout in tents. This is a camp. I get the privilege to bed down here for the night. I actually sleep really well as my tent is quiet and cool and I unscrewed the florescent lights over my head so I would be woken up by others flicking the lights on and off. The next morning is early is an early one but things go smoothly and we are on our last flight via C-130 to Qatar by 1030.
I’m not sure what I was expecting but it sure as hell wasn’t this. It wasn’t supposed to be even hotter, browner, and windier than Kuwait…but it is. It wasn’t supposed to be huge, double-the-size of Costco warehouses in which we sleep, hangout, eat, etc. It wasn’t supposed to be a 45 minute brief about all the rules I will have to follow while I’m here. It sure as hell wasn’t supposed to require me to buy my 3 fucking beers at $6 per at a fake bar inside another warehouse, buy long pants to leave the post for any activities, buy the food in our little R&R village if we don’t go to the DFAC. I sure as hell expected internet access in our rooms (which were CHU’s stacked on top of each other inside one of the warehouses) because I have that at Warrior, but we didn’t. I thought maybe I could drink my 3 beers at the pool at a time I wanted to but I couldn’t. Upon learning all this in the first hour I was hear my blood was once again boiling. I thought the Army would send my down here and treat me as an adult, but of course they didn’t.
Fast forward
It’s now 4 days since returning from Qatar. My trip was not what I expected but I have to admit my attitude has improved and I do feel somewhat more motivated. I guess I just think of it as one more milestone that has passed and that means I’m one more step closer to coming home. My trip was basically relaxing. I decided I would not buy long pants so that I could leave the compound to be escorted around and sweat my ass off in the 130 degree weather. I decided that sleeping in, lounging at the pool, watching movies and doing some light workouts was how I would roll day to day. This basically took all stress out of the trip. I paid the $6 a pop for my 3 beers each evening, served to me in plastic cup, and smiled at the rude waitresses while they scanned my ID to ensure I don’t get a 4th. Hey, they have no competition and I have no other choice but to drink there so what should I expect, friendly attitude? C’mon. I ate at Chile’s a few times. It was located right next to the pool and for a few minutes it sort of felt like the states. I ate at the DFAC a few times and it was really nice. Same food as here but everyone was really friendly. The gym there was amazing. Had a spa, smoothie bar, home theater with DVD rental next to it and a computer lab plus free Wi-Fi. So, all in all a good trip if I look at it as a 4 day passed earned for hard work. And that’s how I have to look at it because if I think of it as a substitute for the 2 weeks of leave with my wife that I was counting on…well then my blood just starts to boil. But shit, let’s just not go there again.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
And a Jay-Z Song was On
15JUN2010:
My headphones are on and blaring Jay-Z. Sweat is dripping down my head. I'm strapped into what you could call a seat along the side of a C-17. In front of me are thousands of pounds of cargo strapped to the floor. It looks to be a shit ton of Russian electronics. To my left is a crazy ass Major who is totally stoked that his deployment is now over as he shows me pictures of his family on his Ipod. To my right sits a sweaty ass, Chester-the-Molester looking contractor who downs a few pills. I have a feeling he is not too comfortable with our mode of transportation. Thirty-five minutes ago I was pissed at the world.
We had been sitting here on the runway for 45 minutes already when the flight crew informed us of a technical difficulty. They were calling in reinforcements as they could not figure out the problem on their own. I was having a very real case of Déjà-vu and I started to think about this little trip I was on. I’m headed to Qatar on a four day pass because Charlie Company decided I shouldn't take leave so close to possibly re-deploying. Our company commander lied to us a while back telling us that it was the Brigade’s decision and new policy that those individuals who are on the list to return home in August would not be allowed to take leave after April. For those of us that were affected we were very pissed but what could we do. They said we would be allowed to go to Qatar for 4 days of relaxation. Now I had been fine with this up until a couple of weeks ago when I started to talk to many people from around the Brigade, who were redeploying before me, but were still going leave. They were still going to get to see their wives, their families, their homes. They were also not being charged this leave as was the new Army policy that would have been granted to me too. Now, I wanted to bring this up to the good Captain before I left on this little trip but alas the fucker was on leave. My blood is boiling at this time. I recognize this and think about how easily I get worked up nowadays. But shit, I don’t want to go through all this traveling in gear and heat and tents and shitty food just for a four day chaperoned army fucking weekend.
So you see its 35 minutes ago and I’m pissed. But then a few minutes later there is progress. The flight crew says “Put your gear back on, we are going to get this bird off the ground.” For the next 15 minutes they blare some classic 80’s hair band songs as the engines rev up and my mood is immediately lifted. When the engines get really fired up their music ends so I continue on my own, some Jay-Z to keep my spirits up (I guess I do have something in common with Miley Cyrus). We get to the start of the runway and the crew chief says “Hold onto your shit, we are going for a ride!” At that moment the planes thrusts forward with a power that can only be felt when one of these monstrous flying machines is kicked into full throttle. It’s a good moment for this Soldier. I’m alive, I’m safe, I’m moving and rocking out all by myself. Music is a wonderful thing.
My headphones are on and blaring Jay-Z. Sweat is dripping down my head. I'm strapped into what you could call a seat along the side of a C-17. In front of me are thousands of pounds of cargo strapped to the floor. It looks to be a shit ton of Russian electronics. To my left is a crazy ass Major who is totally stoked that his deployment is now over as he shows me pictures of his family on his Ipod. To my right sits a sweaty ass, Chester-the-Molester looking contractor who downs a few pills. I have a feeling he is not too comfortable with our mode of transportation. Thirty-five minutes ago I was pissed at the world.
We had been sitting here on the runway for 45 minutes already when the flight crew informed us of a technical difficulty. They were calling in reinforcements as they could not figure out the problem on their own. I was having a very real case of Déjà-vu and I started to think about this little trip I was on. I’m headed to Qatar on a four day pass because Charlie Company decided I shouldn't take leave so close to possibly re-deploying. Our company commander lied to us a while back telling us that it was the Brigade’s decision and new policy that those individuals who are on the list to return home in August would not be allowed to take leave after April. For those of us that were affected we were very pissed but what could we do. They said we would be allowed to go to Qatar for 4 days of relaxation. Now I had been fine with this up until a couple of weeks ago when I started to talk to many people from around the Brigade, who were redeploying before me, but were still going leave. They were still going to get to see their wives, their families, their homes. They were also not being charged this leave as was the new Army policy that would have been granted to me too. Now, I wanted to bring this up to the good Captain before I left on this little trip but alas the fucker was on leave. My blood is boiling at this time. I recognize this and think about how easily I get worked up nowadays. But shit, I don’t want to go through all this traveling in gear and heat and tents and shitty food just for a four day chaperoned army fucking weekend.
So you see its 35 minutes ago and I’m pissed. But then a few minutes later there is progress. The flight crew says “Put your gear back on, we are going to get this bird off the ground.” For the next 15 minutes they blare some classic 80’s hair band songs as the engines rev up and my mood is immediately lifted. When the engines get really fired up their music ends so I continue on my own, some Jay-Z to keep my spirits up (I guess I do have something in common with Miley Cyrus). We get to the start of the runway and the crew chief says “Hold onto your shit, we are going for a ride!” At that moment the planes thrusts forward with a power that can only be felt when one of these monstrous flying machines is kicked into full throttle. It’s a good moment for this Soldier. I’m alive, I’m safe, I’m moving and rocking out all by myself. Music is a wonderful thing.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Now What
03JUN2010:
Its one of those nights when the boredom is almost too much to bear. I’m 31 years old feeling like I’m in the prime of my life and I sit in this dirty, gray box and watch another day of my life waste away. I’m watching a movie I’ve already seen. Maybe this time I’ll notice something different. I don’t. I hear some guys chatting outside so I wander out to listen but it’s the same conversation I’ve been a part of at least 37 times this deployment. My eyes start to burn and I realize that the breeze has changed and now the smoke from the burn pit, which smells like smoldering tire rubber, is running directly over us. It starts to make my stomach sick and that itch in the back of my throat starts to act up again. “Fuck this” I say and wander back in my CHU. I realize that it’s Thursday and that means today was a rest day from working out. This means I haven’t showered yet so now I have something to do. I grab my towel, a bottle of 3 in 1 shampoo, conditioner, body-wash and walk the 200 feet to the shower trailer. While I walk I’m hoping that there is room on the side of the trailer that has a bench to put my shit on. My lucky day, there is. I now have three choices of showers to choose from; each with their own pros and cons of dirt, hair, scum and other delights. I pick the lesser of the evils and commence showering. Getting out of the shower I look in the mirror and think that my face might be looking older. I look tired and have dark circles around my eyes. My body looks better than my face as I have been really focused on diet and exercise. But then I start to wonder why I am working out so hard. I’m not a professional athlete. Can I maintain this intensity at home? Will I want to? I figure it gives me something positive to focus on out here and at least I’m not in any joint pain with my new regimen. I do enjoy the workouts and camaraderie that goes along with it and realize I might be down tonight because I didn’t do anything active today. I get back to my CHU and look at the clock. It’s been 20 minutes since I stopped my movie. Now what. I hear gunfire in the back ground. Some guys are heading off the FOB and performing a weapons check. Two nights ago I heard “Incoming!” followed by a boom just as I was falling asleep. It startled me as it was either larger or closer than usual. It’s not comforting to hear this as you go to bed but it’s not scary either. It happens so quickly and you can tell there is so much force that if it’s got your name on it there is nothing you could do. So I don’t worry. What I have to do now though is sit here and wait for someone to knock on the door and get accountability for my roommate and I. This will take 30 minutes to an hour. It took about 40 minutes that night and then I laid there unable to fall back asleep. Guess that explains the bags under my eyes tonight.
Iraq is a disgusting, shit hole and it sickens me to think that kids die over here. I’m sure it’s the same in Afghanistan. What would be the point if someone got lucky and one of these rockets killed one of our guys? What a fucking waste and what a fucking joke of a war. When I hear people thank me or our troops for what we do, for sacrificing ourselves for their freedom it almost makes me sick. If only that were true. We owe it to these boys to put their lives at risk for a noble cause but this war is nothing of the sort. If we packed up and left here in the morning our freedom would be in no greater jeopardy and neither would the Iraqis’. This place will go to shit whenever we leave and anyone involved over here knows it.
I get my crap together for the morning and notice that there is quite a bit of dirt on the floor. There is also something rattling in the electrical piping along the inside of the CHU but I swear to God every time I jump up to see what it is, the rattling stops. I decide I’m hungry but have nothing in my CHU to eat. I put some socks and shoes on but then realize I’m out of authorized PT shirts and I sure as shit am not putting my ACU’s and boots back on so I suck it up and lie back down on the bed. God forbid I wear a tan undershirt with my approved PT shorts. Well, now what? Should I watch the end of my already seen movie? Should I start a new TV series? I do have “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” sitting over there just waiting for me to delve in. I think some more about what I accomplished on the 3rd of June 2010. Not much. I plug in my internet cable but my roommate is logged on right now. We take turns buying one month of access and share the passwords each month. Usually this is not a huge deal as the connection is too slow to carry on a good conversation for more than a few minutes on Skype and really what else could I possible search for online. I dont need 24 hour internet access. Not only is KBR getting filthy rich over hear so is the internet provider, Sniper Hill, who charges every Soldier here at least $75 per month so that they can communicate back home and have something to do at night. It just seems wrong to me that our government allows this company to gouge the pockets of its Service Members while they are over here. What a fucking racket. Would it be that hard to run a free internet service?
But whatever, I’ll sleep well tonight and wake up in a better mood. Breakfast will be good and hot and at least I have a meaningful job. My friends will make me laugh and I will wake up a day closer to coming home. I’m not sure if Iraq is what I expected but most things in life are rarely what you expect them to be. Tomorrow I’ll start a new book.
My war is with boredom and I’m thankful for that. I’m just not sure who is winning.
Its one of those nights when the boredom is almost too much to bear. I’m 31 years old feeling like I’m in the prime of my life and I sit in this dirty, gray box and watch another day of my life waste away. I’m watching a movie I’ve already seen. Maybe this time I’ll notice something different. I don’t. I hear some guys chatting outside so I wander out to listen but it’s the same conversation I’ve been a part of at least 37 times this deployment. My eyes start to burn and I realize that the breeze has changed and now the smoke from the burn pit, which smells like smoldering tire rubber, is running directly over us. It starts to make my stomach sick and that itch in the back of my throat starts to act up again. “Fuck this” I say and wander back in my CHU. I realize that it’s Thursday and that means today was a rest day from working out. This means I haven’t showered yet so now I have something to do. I grab my towel, a bottle of 3 in 1 shampoo, conditioner, body-wash and walk the 200 feet to the shower trailer. While I walk I’m hoping that there is room on the side of the trailer that has a bench to put my shit on. My lucky day, there is. I now have three choices of showers to choose from; each with their own pros and cons of dirt, hair, scum and other delights. I pick the lesser of the evils and commence showering. Getting out of the shower I look in the mirror and think that my face might be looking older. I look tired and have dark circles around my eyes. My body looks better than my face as I have been really focused on diet and exercise. But then I start to wonder why I am working out so hard. I’m not a professional athlete. Can I maintain this intensity at home? Will I want to? I figure it gives me something positive to focus on out here and at least I’m not in any joint pain with my new regimen. I do enjoy the workouts and camaraderie that goes along with it and realize I might be down tonight because I didn’t do anything active today. I get back to my CHU and look at the clock. It’s been 20 minutes since I stopped my movie. Now what. I hear gunfire in the back ground. Some guys are heading off the FOB and performing a weapons check. Two nights ago I heard “Incoming!” followed by a boom just as I was falling asleep. It startled me as it was either larger or closer than usual. It’s not comforting to hear this as you go to bed but it’s not scary either. It happens so quickly and you can tell there is so much force that if it’s got your name on it there is nothing you could do. So I don’t worry. What I have to do now though is sit here and wait for someone to knock on the door and get accountability for my roommate and I. This will take 30 minutes to an hour. It took about 40 minutes that night and then I laid there unable to fall back asleep. Guess that explains the bags under my eyes tonight.
Iraq is a disgusting, shit hole and it sickens me to think that kids die over here. I’m sure it’s the same in Afghanistan. What would be the point if someone got lucky and one of these rockets killed one of our guys? What a fucking waste and what a fucking joke of a war. When I hear people thank me or our troops for what we do, for sacrificing ourselves for their freedom it almost makes me sick. If only that were true. We owe it to these boys to put their lives at risk for a noble cause but this war is nothing of the sort. If we packed up and left here in the morning our freedom would be in no greater jeopardy and neither would the Iraqis’. This place will go to shit whenever we leave and anyone involved over here knows it.
I get my crap together for the morning and notice that there is quite a bit of dirt on the floor. There is also something rattling in the electrical piping along the inside of the CHU but I swear to God every time I jump up to see what it is, the rattling stops. I decide I’m hungry but have nothing in my CHU to eat. I put some socks and shoes on but then realize I’m out of authorized PT shirts and I sure as shit am not putting my ACU’s and boots back on so I suck it up and lie back down on the bed. God forbid I wear a tan undershirt with my approved PT shorts. Well, now what? Should I watch the end of my already seen movie? Should I start a new TV series? I do have “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” sitting over there just waiting for me to delve in. I think some more about what I accomplished on the 3rd of June 2010. Not much. I plug in my internet cable but my roommate is logged on right now. We take turns buying one month of access and share the passwords each month. Usually this is not a huge deal as the connection is too slow to carry on a good conversation for more than a few minutes on Skype and really what else could I possible search for online. I dont need 24 hour internet access. Not only is KBR getting filthy rich over hear so is the internet provider, Sniper Hill, who charges every Soldier here at least $75 per month so that they can communicate back home and have something to do at night. It just seems wrong to me that our government allows this company to gouge the pockets of its Service Members while they are over here. What a fucking racket. Would it be that hard to run a free internet service?
But whatever, I’ll sleep well tonight and wake up in a better mood. Breakfast will be good and hot and at least I have a meaningful job. My friends will make me laugh and I will wake up a day closer to coming home. I’m not sure if Iraq is what I expected but most things in life are rarely what you expect them to be. Tomorrow I’ll start a new book.
My war is with boredom and I’m thankful for that. I’m just not sure who is winning.
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