DAY 81 22FEB2010: My services are provided to the privileged inside these walls. As American’s we are privileged to live lives where we worry about quality. Quantity is a given unless there is an unexpected event or disease in the way, but for the most part quantity is a given. Our lives are special. Our lives should not be spent in pain. We expect our bodies to work as they should, and when they don’t we expect that something can be done about it. We do not worry so much about food, about shelter. We have moved beyond these worries.
It took a long time for me to learn how to provide my service. It was not easy. When dealing with Americans or Britons my service is appreciated and that makes me feel validated. I provide a service people are grateful for. It is strange that just outside these walls my services are basically worthless. Outside these walls back pain is not a priority and no one is worried about what shoe best fits their foot type. Outside these walls people do not search for healthy food, they search for food. They do not worry about that click in their shoulder; they worry if their Son will have a school to attend. For my services to be of value it seems you need to have what we have.
These walls keep me safe, keep me fed and give me value.
I am in Iraq, but I do not work in Iraq.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The Cycle
Day 69 10FEB2010: The cycle will drive you mad. The cycle for me is the emotional coaster I find myself in everyday. Content one moment, frustrated the next. Loving my job 10 minutes ago, hating it now. Amazed by the brilliant hard working Soldiers today, yesterday I couldn’t stand the site of another whiney little malingerer. Is this life everywhere, or just in my little corner of the US Army? (yes, I know it’s everywhere)
At 0230 today I opened my CHU door as there was a loud knock at it moments before. It was a SGT from my company conducting a 100% accountability check as the FOB received indirect fire some time earlier. “Oh, hey, what, yeah we are both in here SGT”. Thanks for checking.
At 1100 this morning I was informed that my attendance to the Holliday Ball will be mandatory. Yes, that noise you just heard was a record coming to a screeching halt. Apparently when you are deployed to Iraq in fucking February there is someone worried about what kind of attendance there will be at the holiday ball in fucking El Paso in FUCKING DECEMBER!
I now apologize for the above offensive language….but F#$* my life. Okay ill stop.
(Taking indirect fire means mortar rounds have hit nearby. This happens occasionally here though I have never seen or even heard an explosion. We have an alert system that warns us. Alarm “red” means we are taking fire and you should find cover. Alarm “red” really means we already took fire, it has been confirmed and verified and now we can warn you. Now, if you hear a whistle sound, well that’s the sound of a round coming at you and you better get down…like now. Again, I have never encountered this but that’s what I’m told.)
The Cycle: you see I started this post yesterday, I was fired up about the Holiday Ball. I was going to write a long scathing email about how we don’t all need to be here if there is time to worry about Ball’s 10 months from now, about how there are too many people with too little to do, about how the Army has sucked the meaning out awards (more on this another day) and stripped away unit cohesiveness with mandatory fun. I was going to compare that to how much I love to make a Soldier in pain feel better, how great it is to sit in a small aid station with medics I just met and shoot the shit and play cards, about how cool it is to ride over a foreign country in a helicopter, about the pride I feel to wear this uniform. I was going to do all that yesterday, but today I’ve been listening to some great music and you know what, Im just going to smile, nod and do my job. Life’s too short, Cheers.
At 0230 today I opened my CHU door as there was a loud knock at it moments before. It was a SGT from my company conducting a 100% accountability check as the FOB received indirect fire some time earlier. “Oh, hey, what, yeah we are both in here SGT”. Thanks for checking.
At 1100 this morning I was informed that my attendance to the Holliday Ball will be mandatory. Yes, that noise you just heard was a record coming to a screeching halt. Apparently when you are deployed to Iraq in fucking February there is someone worried about what kind of attendance there will be at the holiday ball in fucking El Paso in FUCKING DECEMBER!
I now apologize for the above offensive language….but F#$* my life. Okay ill stop.
(Taking indirect fire means mortar rounds have hit nearby. This happens occasionally here though I have never seen or even heard an explosion. We have an alert system that warns us. Alarm “red” means we are taking fire and you should find cover. Alarm “red” really means we already took fire, it has been confirmed and verified and now we can warn you. Now, if you hear a whistle sound, well that’s the sound of a round coming at you and you better get down…like now. Again, I have never encountered this but that’s what I’m told.)
The Cycle: you see I started this post yesterday, I was fired up about the Holiday Ball. I was going to write a long scathing email about how we don’t all need to be here if there is time to worry about Ball’s 10 months from now, about how there are too many people with too little to do, about how the Army has sucked the meaning out awards (more on this another day) and stripped away unit cohesiveness with mandatory fun. I was going to compare that to how much I love to make a Soldier in pain feel better, how great it is to sit in a small aid station with medics I just met and shoot the shit and play cards, about how cool it is to ride over a foreign country in a helicopter, about the pride I feel to wear this uniform. I was going to do all that yesterday, but today I’ve been listening to some great music and you know what, Im just going to smile, nod and do my job. Life’s too short, Cheers.
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